One Step at a Time
by Little Miss Whitlock
Summary: A major accident has left Edward paralyzed from the waist down. After a long period of no progress, Edward decides to give up on getting better. Will Bella see it through? What will be the deciding factor that may or may not cause Edward to change? AU/AH
1. Dear Diary: Life Sucks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and therefore these characters are not mine, but boy, do I wish they were!!**

[Chapter One]

_Dear Diary,_ I scribbled furiously through my tears. No, scratch that. 'Dear Diary' was not at all how I was feeling today. I sighed as I stared down at the empty page ahead of me, waiting to be filled with great stories and triumphs. But what if you didn't have those? What if you only had heartaches and suffering?

_Whoever is reading this_, I began, _today life completely sucked. If everyday is supposed to get a little better, why do I feel like each day is getting worse? How can I continue to wake up each morning, knowing that today will probably hurt just as much as the one before? Things aren't changing._

I threw down my pencil, pushing back the fresh round of tears that threatened to spill out. No, today was going to be different. I wasn't going to sit and wallow anymore.

I pushed my chair back from my desk, letting it screech across the wood floor. I stood up, and running my hands through my hair, looked over at the clock. _10:45 p.m., still early, but almost over._ I quickly headed downstairs, threw another load of laundry in, letting the door slam behind me with a loud bang. _I'm not being quiet any longer._

I started a load of dishes in the dishwasher, trying to busy myself, but having no luck. Usually I could keep this routine up until 11:30 pm, when I could convince myself that it was alright to go to sleep. Sometimes it would come; other times I would lay there for hours thinking back on all the happy memories I held so long before.

I headed into the living room, picking up some dirty plates and cups, folding a blanket or two and throwing them over the back of the couch. I sighed again. _When did my life become so…empty?_

I looked around the living room, inspecting the now cleaner coffee table and couch. I glanced over to the pictures on top of the mantle and smiled inwardly to myself. Family photos from holidays past stood there, smiling back at me, encouraging me. I let my eyes finally focus on the framed photograph in the middle. It was us on our wedding day. I remembered that day as if it was only days before, not years. Edward stood beside me proudly in his tuxedo, wearing a grin that no one could have wiped off him even if they had tried. His arm was wrapped around me protectively, as if he was scared I was going to change my mind and run away.

My white strapless gown flowed out and down the steps of the gazebo, making me look much taller than I was. _We were so young then…and so in love. _I shook the memory off me and turned out the light, pushing the happy days far behind me.

I tiptoed down the hall in my socks so as not to wake anyone as I went towards the guest room. The door was slightly ajar and a small fan motor was working overtime to keep the room cool on such a warm summers' night. I peeked in and saw him, my angel, lying still in the bed. It seemed like he hardly rested much anymore unless he had taken his medication. His face looked so innocent and peaceful, not that of an angry man. His hair was disheveled as always, and his mouth hung open slightly, a small snore escaping from his lips once in a while.

I'm not sure how long I stood there, watching him breathlessly, when I inhaled deeply and slipped into the room. The light beside his bed on the nightstand was still glowing softly. I pulled his reading glasses off his face, picked up the book that had fallen to the floor, and placed them both on the nightstand. I leaned over him and softly, as not to wake him, kissed his forehead and whispered "I love you."

He stirred for a moment and I thought that I had woken him; but he settled down as quickly as he had moved; his face relaxing again against the pillow and he mumbled something I couldn't understand. I turned off the light and snuck out of the room, shutting the door quietly and completely before heading back upstairs to the master bedroom.

I shivered as I walked into the room—not because of the cold, because it was anything but that tonight; but I shivered as memories of our past—mine and Edwards—came flooding back to me. I pushed them away as quickly as they came on, willing myself not to cry tonight. No, tonight was the night that the tears would all stop. I changed into my pajamas—an old pair of basketball shorts and a tank top—before crawling under the sheets of the huge bed, leaving the comforter at the foot. The right side felt so empty now, as it had been for awhile. I let out another sigh and stared up at the ceiling, pushing the hair out of my face that had fallen over my eyes.

"God, or anyone, whoever is up there listening. Could you help me please? I've been talking to you for quite some time now and haven't gotten an answer. What's it going to take to get a miracle down here to fix things? Some days I don't even want to get up; I just want to die. Why won't you help me? Why won't you help him? We need you here, working in our lives." I waited, and after no response, sighed again. "Of course, if you don't want to help us, I guess there is nothing I can do."

I closed my eyes for a second, thinking to myself. "I love him, I really do. But I can't keep going on like this—it's killing us slowly. So if you're there, I'm not asking for much, just give us something to show us that there's still hope."

I laid on my side, taking deep, even breaths in order to keep the tears away. _No, not tonight. Please not tonight_, I begged myself as I turned out the light on the nightstand next to me. _Not tonight._

*******************************

When I woke, I heard birds outside chirping loudly. I groaned and pulled the sheet over my head. _Five more minutes,_ I told myself. But somehow I knew that I didn't have those minutes. I peeked out from under the sheet and looked over at my alarm clock. _6:45 am_. Well at least I had made it through the night without crying.

I sat up suddenly, looking around, when the realization hit me. I didn't have a nightmare last night. I slept through the night and with no nightmare. Maybe the last three years had all been a dream. I smiled to myself, giddy at the idea that I had been imagining the horrible events of the last three years. I climbed out of bed eagerly, heading to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. As I splashed the cold water over my face, I couldn't help but feel a spring of hope in me. _Was today the day that things changed?_

But as I looked up at my reflection in the mirror, the realization hit me: this was not a dream. The small scar was still there, slightly above my left eyebrow, a small but permanent reminder of what life had been like. I inhaled, pushing back the tears that threatened to form. I picked up my toothbrush and began brushing harshly, chiding myself for being so stupid. _As if you'd be that lucky, Bella, and the last three years didn't happen. You're so naïve to think that things will get better today._

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail after being unable to tame it, and threw on a pair of faded blue jeans and a simple blue tank top. I knew I had a long day ahead of me. It was Wednesday, after all.

As I was continuing in my thoughts, I heard the phone ring. I rushed to grab it from the desk before it could wake Edward. "Hello?" I asked in a hushed whisper.

"Bella? Why are you whispering? What's happening?"

I laughed to myself when I realized I was upstairs and didn't need to whisper. "Sorry about that, Alice. I forgot I was upstairs. What's going on?" I asked casually.

"Oh, nothing really. I just wanted to see how you were doing…" she trailed off, which could only mean she wanted something.

"Well, nothing new has happened since the last time you called me yesterday. Still the same old. How about you?" I asked slyly, hoping she would just get to the point.

"Um…well…Jasper was wondering…if…"

"What does he want, Alice?" I prodded, knowing full well the favor wasn't for Jasper at all.

"Jasper wanted to come visit Edward" she said quickly.

I sighed. "Alice, I don't know if today is a good day…"

"Aw, come on, Bella, " she whined, trying to convince me otherwise, "it's been six months since anyone's been able to come visit him…Jasper really misses his best friend…and I kinda sorta miss my brother…"

"I told you, he doesn't want anyone coming in the house," I sighed, "Alice, please don't do this to me right now, I have to get his breakfast ready…" I tried to hold out against Alice's begging, but it was almost impossible. I was lucky I had lasted six months.

She sighed impatiently. "Well, can you and I at least meet for lunch or shopping or _anything?_"

"I don't know; you know I don't like to leave him alone if I don't have to…" I heard shuffling downstairs followed by a stream of curse words. "Listen, Alice, I gotta go. I'll call you."

Defeated once again, Alice huffed. "I'm going to kidnap you if I don't at least get to see you soon. Tell Edward we love him, please? Everyone's not the same without him…"

I nodded. "Okay, bye Alice," I said quickly as I hung up the phone and threw it on the bed. I quickly rushed down the stairs, trying not to stumble and fall. "Edward?" I called "Are you alright?"

I could hear him down the hall, still cursing up a storm. As I came to the door, I knew he heard me coming.

"Don't come in here," he growled.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, swinging the door open anyway. When I opened my eyes, I gasped at what I saw. "Oh, Edward!"

His body was lying on the floor in a fetal position, his arms hugging tightly to his chest. I quickly scanned the room to see his wheelchair just out of reach for him. I was stupid not to have put it near his bed last night before I went to sleep. _But if Alice hadn't called, I would have been here…_

"I told you not to come in here—what part didn't you understand?" he cried out as his arms grabbed at the bed, attempting to pull himself up.

I tried not to cry, knowing he didn't mean to be so angry with me. "Edward, let me help you," I said, bending down next to him to help him up.

"No," he growled, looking down at the floor, anywhere but at my face, "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Edward, you have got to let me help you." I stood up and brought the wheelchair next to him. He grabbed the chair with his arms and hoisted himself into it easily. Three years had given him plenty of time to practice. Well, that was once he finally started using the chair.

I watched silently as he wheeled himself over to his closet and opened the door. Running his hand through his bronze hair, he stared at the closet intently. "The gray shirt," he said quietly, knowing he couldn't reach it from where he was.

I walked over slowly, pulling the shirt off the hanger and handing it to him. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him pull his nightshirt over his head and set it in the laundry basket. I stared at his chest, mesmerized by his abs; his upper body strength had increased over the years. He slipped the shirt over his head, pulling it down as far as he could. "Thanks," he muttered.

I forced a smile. "You're very welcome, my handsome husband. What would you like for breakfast?" I asked casually as I leaned over and kissed his forehead, heading out into the kitchen, knowing he would follow me when he was ready.

I began pulling out materials from the refrigerator: eggs, milk, juice, bacon. I had my head stuck in the fridge still when I heard him come in.

He sighed heavily. "Bella, I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning…I had no right…"

I shook my head, letting him know that I wasn't mad at him. "Don't apologize, Edward. I shouldn't have come in after you told me not to; I was just worried you had hurt yourself." I put a pan onto the stove and let it began to heat while I mixed some eggs in a bowl with salt and pepper, stirring it all together.

"I just…it was…" he was searching for words and his fist hit the kitchen table, causing me to jump slightly. "Damn it, Bella, I hate being this way…being who I am now."

I stopped stirring the eggs and walked over and sat in a chair next to him. I took his hand in mine. "Edward, you've got to stop beating yourself up over this. I took a vow—in sickness and in health. Well, now's just a time of sickness; you'll get better. You're getting better everyday. Even Erica down at the rehab center says you're improving. These things just take time," I tried reassuring him, rubbing circles in his palm. _But you have to at least try,_ I thought selfishly to myself.

Edward had given up about a year into his rehabilitation. After…the accident…the doctors were positive he could regain use of his legs after extensive therapy sessions. Edward worked hard for the first 8 months, but after seeing minimal results, his hope began to fail. By the time a year had come around, he had quit completely. He refused to see any of his family and friends, and even for a few weeks had stopped talking to me. He was angry with himself for not being able to get better. No matter how many times I would encourage him, it was never enough. For a year after that, Edward laid in bed, a lot, and would only get up to shower or eat. He had lost all hope, and at that moment I thought he had even lost his hope in me. Our marriage was falling apart because he was giving up on everything.

Finally, after an argument between us exploded out of control and I left the house for the night, he seemed to have stumbled upon his senses. When I returned, Edward promised to begin rehabilitation again. But that didn't solve everything—he still didn't let his friends and family visit except for on Christmas. His pride often got the best of him.

He looked up at me with eyes full of guilt and shame. "I don't know why you stay with me," he said softly, "I don't deserve anyone nearly as caring as you are to me."

I shook my head. "That is nonsense, Edward Cullen, and you know it. The simple fact is that I love you, and you made a vow to love me forever, so you're stuck with me." I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him, which seemed to amuse him. I stood up. "Now, how about I make us some breakfast? Erica will be here soon for your at-home session—it is Wednesday."

He nodded and wheeled himself closer to me to watch as I prepared breakfast. "How did you sleep last night?" he asked, judging my reactions to see if I was lying or not.

"You know? I actually slept all through the night and didn't have one nightmare. I'd say that's a cause for celebration." I smiled over at him sweetly. "And you were pretty tuckered out when I came in to check on you last night, mister. You still had your glasses on," I smiled at the memory of Edward looking so angelic.

I finished up breakfast, and served us both a plate. Edward ate silently, but his mood seemed to be a bit happier since this morning's incident. I hoped today would be the day that made a difference.

The doorbell rang, and I stood to get it. I opened it to reveal a smiling Erica, carrying a bag of supplies she would use for Edward's rehabilitation session today. "Hey, Bella!" she said cheerfully.

I smiled at her warmness. "Hello, Erica, come on in." I opened the door and let her pass through.

She stopped in the doorway and whispered to me. "How is he today?"

I was about to answer when I heard a loud cough and looked up to see Edward in the doorframe. "I might be paralyzed, but I am certainly not deaf, ladies. I'm alright, Erica, good to see you, too."

I blushed, feeling embarrassed that Edward had caught us talking about him. He wheeled himself into the living room without another word. I looked over at Erica and shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

She chuckled and followed Edward into the living room. Usually I didn't hang around for Edward's in-home sessions; I used it as a time to run to the grocery store or other errands. I hated leaving Edward alone, and he refused to come with me. I grabbed my cell phone and purse and peeked into the living room. "Edward, I'm going out to run a few errands, is there anything you need while I'm out?"

He looked up at me as Erica was writing notes in her folder. "Would you please refill my pain pills while you're out?"

I nodded. "Of course. Alright, I'll be back in a little while." I walked quickly over to him, kissing him on the cheek. Edward and I hardly kissed on the lips anymore because he was so disgusted with his lack of ability to care for me 'like a real man' as he always put it. Intimacy had become non-existent since the accident. I never pushed Edward, hoping he would come around on his own time.

He smiled lightly. "I love you," he called as I headed towards the door.

I stopped and turned, a grin spreading across my face. "I love you, too, Edward."

He hadn't said that to me in days. _Maybe things are looking up_, I thought as I headed out the door, already dialing Alice as I stepped out into the scorching hot sun.

********************************

Although I felt bad for not mentioning it to him, I went to meet Alice for coffee on my trip to run errands. She had agreed to ride with me and accompany me to the grocery store. I met her at a local Starbucks.

"Bella!" she squealed, bouncing up and down when she saw me get out of Edward's silver Volvo. Since my truck had died two years earlier, and Edward couldn't currently drive, I let him talk me out of getting a new car.

Alice ran over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. "Oh, hey to you, too, Alice."

She smiled, but her smile faded as she assessed my outfit. "Bella, I know you don't get out much, but could you at least wear the clothes that I got you from last Christmas?"

I shook my head. "And make Edward wonder where I'm going? Don't think so."

She looked away sadly. "Do you think he'll ever speak to us again?"

"I hope so. He looked good this morning. He even told me he loved me," I grinned stupidly, thinking back to the memory in the living room.

She giggled. "Oh Bella! That is SO great! C'mon, there is a frozen hot chocolate waiting inside with your name on it!" She exclaimed as she dragged me into the Starbucks to order our drinks.

"Make sure hers is a decaf," I laughed and told the cashier, to which Alice glared at me.

"I'll have a double shot of espresso in my venti chocolate chip frappacino," she told the cashier, and nudged me when I rolled my eyes at her, smiling the whole time.

After getting our coffees, I drove us to the grocery store. Alice chatted on, filling me in on the rest of the Cullens and our friends. "Dad and Mom are planning a small cruise for the family fall get together, and I think even Emmett and Rosalie are planning on going this year; you know how hard it is for him to get time off." Emmett had become a medical lawyer, following as close to his father's medical footsteps as he could, although everyone was surprised he'd picked such a serious career.

I smiled sadly, knowing it would be another trip that Edward and I would miss out on. I tried not to be bitter, but couldn't help but feel sad that Edward had pushed his family away since the accident.

Alice looked over at me cautiously, putting her hand softly on top of mine. "It could happen, Bella," she answered softly, already knowing what I was thinking. "You said yourself that he was improving. It's still 3 months away."

"Thanks, Alice, but I think it would take a medical miracle for Edward to come around to where he'd even _consider_ leaving the house, let alone go on a cruise with the family."

As we walked around the grocery store, I started putting items into the cart. More bread, butter, lunch meats, chicken breasts, steaks, ground beef, some fresh vegetables, and ingredients to make Edward's favorite dessert: chocolate mousse pie. I wanted to do something special for him since he was in such a good mood.

"Well, anything is possible. I have faith that he's going to come around. I can't not have faith in him, Bella. I'm scared of what will happen if I don't" she said quietly, fighting back tears.

I squeezed her hand as I went to the pharmacy section to pick up Edward's pain pills.

***********************

The rest of the trip went about the same—Alice kept hinting that she wanted to come back with me and "surprise" Edward, especially since he was in a good mood. I told her it wasn't a good idea as I dropped her back off at her car which was still parked at the Starbucks.

"Oh, Bella! I just miss you so much! Family dinners aren't the same—you should see the way Emmett mopes around. It's not right, what Edward's doing. He's being selfish," she huffed in her seat, refusing to move.

I put my arm around her shoulder loosely. "Alice," I coaxed as she looked up at me, her infamous pout on her face. I had two seconds to get strong or I was going to lose and she knew it.

"Bella, just for five minutes, please? Don't you want your sister to be happy?"

I sighed—I had waited too long. "FIVE minutes, Mary Alice Hale. I mean it. No more than five minutes. And if Edward kills me, you're the one who's taking care of him for eternity."

She bounced happily and giggled. "Oh thank you thank you, Bella! Can Jasper come? PLEASE?"

"Absolutely not!" Her smile faded. "It's just that I don't want to overwhelm him, Alice. Please, this is already going to throw him off course."

She nodded. "Well, what are we waiting for? I wanna see my brother!"

****************************

Alice pulled up behind me in the driveway as I parked in the garage. I came in through the front door, noting that Erica had already left. I looked down at my watch—she was done early. This couldn't be a good sign. I inhaled deeply and opened the door, calling loudly. "Edward, I'm back!"

I was met with silence. I placed the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter and headed into the living room. I saw him sitting in his chair, looking out into the backyard, his back to me.

"Edward, how was your session?" I asked cautiously, silently hoping for good news.

He sighed. "I'm still in this chair, aren't I?" His words stung me.

I walked closed to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. I felt his body tense as I did so. "Did Erica say something to upset you?"

"I'm so tired of fighting for something that might never come."

"It will. You just have to keep having faith…"

"I can't have faith in—" He was starting to get worked up as the front door shut. _Shoot_, I thought.

He turned just as Alice was bouncing in the room. "Edward! Oh, Edward it's so good to see you!" She smiled widely as she ran over to hug him.

Edward looked up at me with a cold stare, knowing it was my fault. "Alice," he said blankly.

She stood back and took him in. "Well, I can see you've been working out. But you haven't been shaving. Tsk, tsk. Jasper says to say hello, and of course Emmett and Rosalie; Mom and Dad miss you so much, Edward! You really shouldn't—" She was rambling on and on.

"No, YOU really shouldn't be here. I thought I told you all I didn't want visitors," he growled, and then turned to look at me. "I thought I told YOU that as well."

I shuddered. "Come on, Edward! Alice is your sister! Your family just worries about you—they must think I'm keeping you locked up in here with my silly excuses," I pleaded, feeling the familiar arguments coming back a thousand times.

"Well, Alice, now you can run home and tell everyone how precious Edward is still stuck in this damn chair. If you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you'd leave," he said coldly.

Alice's eyes filled up with tears as she slowly nodded her head. After a second, she shook her head left and right, stomping her foot, hand on her hip. _Oh, here it comes, _I thought.

"You know what, Edward? I don't give a crap what you want anymore—you've been in this house for over two years and haven't left unless absolutely necessary. This is absurd! Don't you see what you're doing? You're hiding! You aren't helping anyone—your family misses you and you sit here and wallow in self-pity everyday. Not to mention you are bringing Bella down with you."

"Alice, you don't understand—" He started.

"No, Edward, it's YOU that doesn't understand. You think you are doing everyone a favor by staying away from us. You know Bella won't ever leave you, and you're taking that for granted. For God's sake, I have to wait for the in-home nurse to come so I can even see Bella for what, fifteen minutes? And you can't even know about it? What is that?! If you love Bella as much as you say you do, you'd see how much this is hurting her, too! You can't keep her from her family, too! How can you treat her like this? How can you treat _all of us_ like this? We only want to help you." Tears were streaming down her angry face now.

"Alice, I think you should go," I said softly, not moving from Edward's side. If this was the life he wanted, I was willing to give it to him.

She shook her head in disbelief. "You see what I'm talking about? Look at what you're doing to her, to me, and you can't even imagine how Mom and Dad are handling this…"

"Alice, that is ENOUGH!" Edward roared, looking up at her with wild eyes. He pointed to the door. "Are you going to leave or do I have to drag you out myself?"

She turned to go, talking so low I almost didn't hear her. "I wish you would drag me out. At least then, maybe you'd let yourself feel human again." She started walking out the door.

My heart stopped. I looked down at Edward, and then back to Alice. I was losing her—we were losing her. "Alice!" I called as I ran out the door and down the driveway to her. "Alice, I'm so sorry."

She turned to me. "Don't you dare start that crap with me, Isabella Cullen. I understand you have your loyalties to Edward, and I can't fault you for that—he is your husband. But if things don't change soon, it's going to get worse. He shouldn't keep you from us, Bella. If he doesn't want to see us, he should at least let you come by."

I took a deep breath, pushing tears back. "He doesn't keep me here."

She looked up at me, rage in her eyes. "Excuse me, what did you say?!"

"Alice, he doesn't keep me here. But I can't leave him alone by himself! What if something were to happen? I'd never forgive myself!"

She shook her head again. "See? You still don't get it. By him refusing to leave, he IS keeping you here." She sighed. "I have to go. Call me sometime." She kissed my cheek and gave me a sympathetic squeeze then got into her car.

I stood there watching her drive off. After I had collected myself, I headed back inside, hoping this argument wouldn't send me over the edge tonight.

I shut the door softly, heading directly for the kitchen in hopes of escaping Edward for just a few minutes until I could calm down. But he knew me too well. There he was, sitting in the middle of the kitchen, arms crossed, and waiting for me.

"Edward," I started.

He shook his head. "No, I need to say something."

I slowly nodded.

He stared at me coldly. "And you might not like it."

***************************************

**A/N: Ok, welcome to my first fic ever ******** I hope you like it and if you don't, well, that's okay, too. In case you haven't guessed, the story is told from Bella's point of view. The entire story is going to be told from her perspective. I'm not going to beg for reviews or hold out for a certain number before I publish the next chapter. But, keep in mind if you don't tell me what you like or don't like, the next chapter might not turn out the way you think it should. ******** Happy readings! If you want to see what other fics I absolutely adore, check out my favorites on my profile!**


	2. Hurricane Edward

**Disclaimer: [sorry, I didn't put this in Ch 1] I don't own Twilight; trust me, if I did, I wouldn't have stopped at Breaking Dawn. I would play with the Cullens for…forever. : -)**

[Chapter Two]

I took a deep breath and took a seat at the kitchen table. _Here it comes again,_ I thought to myself. I looked up at him, his eyes piercing me.

"Bella," he said as he ran his hand through his hair. "How long have you been seeing Alice without telling me?"

I looked down at the table, concentrating on my hands. "A while."

"And exactly how long is 'a while' Bella?" He asked me in an accusing tone.

I looked up, guilt written all over my face. "Edward, listen—I never did it to hurt you—"

He looked at me and asked plainly and slowly, "How long?"

"I don't know—it started a few months after you wouldn't let your family come over. Edward, you have to know that I don't feel like you are keeping me here, I swear!" Tears started building up in my eyes. "I don't hold you responsible at all for what happened three years ago! I promised you I would never leave your side and I haven't! I only to go to the store to get things that we need…but it's hard. It was hard not being able to see them—they are my, no, they are _our_ family! I miss being around people who are happy, who weren't sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, who actually want to live!"

"Is that what you think—that I want to die?! Bella, if that were true I would have killed myself years ago!" I could see his fist clenching at my accusation.

"I get that you don't want to go visit them; I even understand that you're scared to leave the house. But, Edward, why can't they come here? Why can't they call? You won't take Esme's calls, of all people—she is your Mother!"

"You don't understand…" he trailed as he looked anywhere but at my face, ashamed of how he was behaving.

"Then make me understand!" I felt my anger building up in me.

"It's not easy, living like this," he waved at his wheelchair. "I feel…incomplete. I feel like I'll never be the guy I was before this. I'm not enough anymore. So if I can't be enough, why be anything at all? I don't want them seeing me like this, having to deal with me being _this way._ Of course I love my family and I miss them—but I don't want to put them through this! Alice is right," he sighed as he pulled at his hair, looking down at his lap.

I looked over at him. "Alice was right about what?"

He sighed. "I am holding you back. I know, I never told you that you couldn't go see them or be with them, but she was right. I know you're too kind to leave me by myself—you just want to be here to help me. And I knew that, so I never told you to get away for a while. Because, Bella, you're all I have left. I have pushed everyone else away. I feel so horrible for not pushing you to spend time with them more."

I shook my head. "No, Edward, it's not your fault. Look, we have to figure something out here. You're miserable—I can see it. And the family is miserable. There's got to be something…" I hoped he would come up with the same solution I had, although I doubted he would be that willing.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated with where this was all heading. "I don't know if I'm up for all that, if they can forgive me. Maybe you should just take some time and go spend a week with my parents or something. It'll give you a chance to relax and enjoy their company."

"Who would help you? You can't stay by yourself for a week! What if something were to happen?" I started to panic—_was he crazy?_

"We can have someone from the facility stay with me for a week," he said as if he had solved the problem simply.

"Oh, no way! Absolutely not, Edward! I am not leaving you in the hands of a…"

"Highly-trained professional?" he questioned, a smile beginning to form on his face; he thought he had won.

"That is beside the point and you know it!"

"Then what do you want, Bella? You want change, and I am giving you an option."

I shook my head. "How about this? I'll give you two options, and you pick one. You probably won't like either of them, but these are your choices."

He thought for a second, and then looked up at me. "Will it make you happy?"

I nodded, knowing he couldn't deny me anything that I wanted.

"Let's hear them," he sighed, knowing he had lost the battle.

"Okay, option one: we invite your parents over to stay for a few days, WITH a family dinner that includes Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice." I looked over at his facial expression, which was tense. "OR, option two…" I trailed off, drawing in suspense.

"What could be worse than option one?" He mumbled.

I smiled. "Emmett stays with you for the week while I go stay with Carlisle and Esme."

He looked up at me. "Are you CRAZY? You would leave me in the hands of Emmett Cullen?! Do you know what could happen to me?"

I nodded. "Pick."

"You did this on purpose! You're trying to corner me into letting my family come over, knowing damn well that I would NEVER let Emmett be my caretaker for a WEEK. A whole week, Bella?" He realized then exactly what I was doing. "You know, I don't give you enough credit."

I crossed my arms across my chest smugly. "Well, what's it going to be, Edward? The whole family and a sleepover with your parents, or seven days of Emmett?"

He thought for a second, before grabbing the wheels of his chair. "Neither."

My smug look felt like it was slapped off my face. "Excuse me?"

"I said 'neither.' Look, Bella, I know you want things to get better. Both of those options make me want to wheel myself over a cliff! I'm sorry, but I just can't…not right now." He wheeled himself out of the room and to his room, where I heard him slam the door shut and curse. My head slumped down on the table, resting on my arms. This hadn't turned out like I had hoped it would at all. As the tears started to fall, I let them. At that moment, I was so angry with Edward, and with myself, that Alice's words came crashing back on me.

"_But if things don't change soon, it's going to get worse."_

I must have fallen asleep after my crying fit at the table. I looked up at the microwave clock: 4:30 p.m. Seven hours until this horrible day, which had started out so great, was over.

*************************

It had been two months since Alice's 'surprise' visit to the house, and Edward and mine's argument about change. Alice was right, things had gotten worse. Edward and I had barely spoken since that day, and neither of us had apologized. We were both too stubborn to admit we were out of line, although this time I didn't believe I was. Sure, I had tried to corner Edward, when I should have taken him up on his offer to go stay with Carlisle and Esme, but the change wasn't supposed to be about just me, it was supposed to be about _us_.

However, since then, I had been more outgoing with leaving the house to see Alice. I still hadn't seen the other family members, not wanting to push my luck. But one time when I was meeting Alice for brunch, Rosalie 'happened' to be at the same restaurant, which only made me happier then I'd been in a long time. That night at dinner, Edward had made some snide comment about me being in a good mood. But I didn't care, I was too happy to be concerned. I was still angry with him.

So, it was now September, and Edward seemed like he was coming close to calling a truce on our argument. He'd left me a note by the coffee pot that morning that simply said

_I'm trying. I promise._

I decided to cut him a little slack after that. It was now a Wednesday again, and I was making waffles for Edward in order to show him that I was willing to try again. I didn't hear him come in the kitchen and was humming some silly song when I heard him chuckle. Startled, I spun around and in the process, flung some waffle batter across his face.

We both looked at each other for a second and began laughing. We must have looked pretty stupid, but the situation had to have looked funny from the outside.

"Edward, you scared me! I didn't hear you come in. How long were you standing there?" I said, my hand on my leg, trying to catch my breath. When I had calmed down, I tossed him a hand towel to wipe his face.

"Long enough," he said as a small smile crept on his face again. He wheeled over to the table as I set a plate in front of him.

I sat, eating silently, nervous to break the somewhat good mood we had going on.

If it hadn't have been so quiet, I would almost have missed Edward calling my name. "Bella?"

I dropped my fork and looked at him. "Yes, Edward?"

"Well, your birthday is coming up. I was wondering what you wanted?"

"You know I never like it when you give me gifts," I said softly, pushing a piece of waffle around my plate.

"I know, I just thought it would be easier this year if you told me something you wanted."

"I don't want—" a light bulb went off in my head. "---actually…no…it's too much…" I trailed off, suggestively.

Edward's eyes lit up at the possibility I wanted something expensive. "No, Bella, nothing is too much for you. Please, tell me."

I jumped as he put his hand on my forearm, stilling my arm from building a zen garden out of my waffles. I looked over at him, meeting his eyes with uncertainty. "Are you sure?"

"Name it—anything you want. Name it and it's yours. It's the least I can do."

I looked down nervously, taking a deep breath before meeting his gaze again. "I want to have dinner with your family…at your parents' house." I held my breath waiting for his answer.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him run his hand through his hair, an obvious sign of frustration.

"You did say anything…" I tested, batting my eyelashes at him.

"I'll think about it."

My jaw must have dropped all the way through the floor when I heard that. Wait, had I really heard that? I looked up. "Edward, do you mean it?"

"I said I would think about it. That doesn't mean go call Alice and have her start planning or anything, Bella. I really am trying here."

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "That's all I can ask for. Thank you."

****************************

I turned to reach over and shut off my alarm clock that kept beeping, but when I did, I realized that I wasn't in my bed. I sat up, pushing my hair off my face. _Why was I on the couch?_ I pushed the blanket off me, staring at it as if it were an alien. _I don't remember putting this over me._ I looked at my watch—8:55 a.m. I took a deep breath before calling out, "Edward?"

About a minute later I heard him come into the room. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, of course I'm—what happened last night?" I was so confused.

He ran his hand through his hair, sighing heavily. "Well, I'm not exactly sure. All I know is I came out into the kitchen to get some water before I went to bed, and I saw you asleep on the couch. I put a blanket over you so you wouldn't freeze. I would have put you to bed but…" he trailed off sadly, his eyes looking up at me.

I knew exactly what he couldn't say, _you know I'm paralyzed, Bella, so I couldn't be a real man and carry my wife upstairs, put her to bed, and crawl in next to her._ I tried to shake off the sadness and gave him a small smile. "Thank you. Are you hungry?"

"No," he replied. "I already had breakfast. But you might want to take a shower."

"And why is that?" I asked, amused by his boldness.

He looked out the glass patio door and then back at me. "Because Alice will be here soon and you know what happens when you aren't ready when she gets here."

I swear my jaw dropped to the floor. "A-A-Alice is coming?" I felt my body tensing, preparing for a fight.

He nodded. "I want you to go out and have some fun. I know shopping with Alice isn't exactly your favorite thing to do, but it'll get you out of this house. I'll be fine, I promise, Bella. Jasper's going to hang out with me while you're gone."

I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. My lungs felt like they were working overtime and my throat wasn't letting me take in any fresh air. "J-J-Jasper?"

He laughed a little. "I see you've picked up a stutter in your old age. Now go on, before she gets here. You're stinking up the living room," he chuckled.

I was too stunned to think. I walked by him, and leaned over, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and squeezed his hand in a silent thank you. I hurried towards the stairs, excited about spending time with Alice, and happy that Edward had agreed to let Jasper visit.

"Bella?" he called to me.

I turned around, wondering if he was okay. "Yes?"

He smiled a smile that I hadn't seen in years. "Happy Birthday."

*****************************

"So, what you're telling me is, it was EDWARD'S idea?" I asked, sitting in the chair while Alice attempted to make something out of nothing with my hair.

She nodded excitedly, dancing from one foot to the other. "Yes, Bella! Isn't that great? What a great birthday present! And a gift for me and Jasper, too! Believe me, I was as shocked as you were when I got the phone call two days ago…" she pulled a little tighter on my hair, securing a loose strand in place with a bobby pin.

"Two days ago? You mean, not only is he letting Jasper come over so we can go shopping, but he planned it? I don't believe it. Tell me more!"

Alice stopped fussing with my hair and turned the chair so I was facing her, applying a light dusting of make-up to my face. "Well, Jasper and I were…"

I held up my hands. "Not _all_ that, Alice. Just the Edward part," I said as I blushed.

She giggled at me. "What I was going to say, before pervert Bella interrupted, was that Jasper and I were talking while I wrapped your birthday present when the phone rang. I almost died of shock when I saw it was Edward's cell phone. I picked up and immediately asked if you were alright, since him and I hadn't spoken since that last time I came over."

I nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"He said of course you were fine and that I always was a worrier. He said he wanted to do something nice for you for your birthday, and he knew he had been quite a jerk to me in our last encounter, so he thought he could make it up to the both of us by letting us spend the day together. And then, get this Bella, he even apologized for keeping Jasper out of his life, and said that he would like it very much if Jasper came and hung out while we spent the day together!" She giggled excitedly. Alice had been waiting a long time for Edward to come around on the Jasper front.

I knew that Edward had missed Jasper like crazy. The only real reason he kept pushing him away was because he wanted to keep everyone out, and Edward also knew that Jasper was the most sensible of all the family, and might talk him into changing his mind about rehabilitation. And Edward wasn't willing to try again.

I smiled to myself, very proud of Edward. "That's great, Alice, it really is."

She put some lip gloss across my lips and then spun me back around to the mirror. "Bella, you look great! You really needed a major makeover!" She giggled, teasing me.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I could hardly recognize myself. It had been years since I had gotten this dolled up. I turned to the side to take a profile look.

"And you've still got a great butt!' Alice said as she gave me a side pat and ran out of the room. "Come on, Bella! We don't want to be late! The mall's going to open soon and we HAVE to be the first ones in the door!"

I sighed, but smiled at my reflection once more. I leaned down and grabbed my purse, throwing my cell phone in the bag as well. Today felt great—now I just had to go down and say goodbye to Edward.

I started down the stairs when I heard Jasper and Edward whispering softly in the living room. I tried to stay quiet and eavesdrop, but being the clumsy person I am, I tripped on the second to last step and ended up grabbing onto the railing for support. Edward and Jasper whipped their heads around to see me.

"Bells, are you okay?" Jasper asked, standing up to head over to me.

I waved my hand as I tried to hide my embarrassment. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I stood up and straightened myself out. Alice had dressed me in a knee-length skirt that was navy blue with a white pleating, a white button-down collared shirt, and white ballet flats. As I stood there trying to will my blush away, I looked over at Edward. He was sitting in his wheelchair, his eyes fixed on me.

"Wow, Bella," was all he could get out as his eyes roamed my outfit.

"Is it too much?" I asked nervously, now more self-conscious than ever.

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his trance. "Of course not! You look wonderful."

I walked over to him, kissing him lightly on the forehead. "You boys have fun, okay? And no mischief while Alice and I are gone. Charlie's number is on the fridge, Jasper, and I'll have my cell phone on me at all times in case—"

"In case of an emergency, Edward's naptime is at 3 and make sure you change his diaper first," Edward mocked me, a mischievous look in his eye.

I threw my hands up. "Okay, okay. Forget I even said anything. I'll see you two later," I replied as I walked out the door behind Alice, who was already making a run for her car. "Alice, it's okay, we will make it to the mall. And in the spirit of Edward's good mood, I'll even let you pick out ONE outfit for me!"

She turned around, a huge grin on her face. "That's great, Bella! But I have something better in mind than one outfit." She dug through her purse and finally produced a small plastic rectangle. "Edward gave me his credit card…and full permission to torture you however I like."

I groaned. _Note to self: push Edward down a very steep hill later._

***********************

Four horrendous hours later, Alice had promised we could leave the mall. My feet were killing me and I couldn't wait to sit down in the car. Dragging what felt like a million bags of "must haves" as declared by Alice, I smiled as I saw the yellow Porsche pulling up through valet parking.

"So I was thinking," Alice started as she helped me put the bags in the trunk, "since Jasper and Edward never spend time together, we could go back to my place and hang out for a little while and give them some more time."

I nodded. "I think that's a great idea! Let's call Rosalie, too! I miss her so much! Do you think she'd come over?"

Alice thought for a second. "Well, I don't think she knows about Jasper being allowed over to your house. I think she might be upset for Emmett, and maybe even with us for not calling her to go shopping."

My heart fell. "Oh, okay, maybe another time." I felt defeat wash over me as I realized we were already back at Alice and Jasper's house. _How fast did she drive?_

Alice smiled back at me. "Definitely! We wouldn't want to make Emmett upset that he didn't get to hang with the boys, too."

As soon as we got inside I collapsed on the couch, throwing my feet over the arm. My thoughts drifted back to Edward and I wondered if he was okay. I weighed my options: if I tried to call him, Alice would take my phone away. I heard her rustling upstairs, most likely putting away her new shoes. I whipped out my phone and sent Edward a quick text: _Everything going well?_

It seemed like hours before my little phone vibrated, alerting me to a text message: _Yes, mom ;)_

I chuckled to myself, sliding the phone back into my purse. Alice was just coming back down the stairs. "Don't get too comfortable, missy. It's shower time for you!"

"What? Alice, why? What is going on?"

"It's your birthday, Bella! We have to dress you up before you go home!"

"But, why?" I was so confused.

"So that Edward can see what we bought for him today, silly!" She held up a rather large shopping bag from a store I didn't even remember going in. She grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up, pushing me towards the bathroom. "Not another peep, Bella. Go."

I quickly showered, washing my hair with Alice's fancy shampoo and conditioner. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked into her bedroom where her vanity was set up. I immediately took my seat in the chair, no longer energetic enough to argue.

She placed her cool hand across my forehead. "Bella, are you alright?"

I nodded. "Yes, why?"

"Well, you never willingly give in to my makeovers! I thought Hell must have frozen over!"

I laughed. "I'm too tired to argue with you right now. Just do me up, Alice!"

I sat in that chair for who knows how long, but when I was done, Alice was helping me wiggle into the outfit she'd picked out. As soon as I turned and looked in the mirror, I gasped again: I was beautiful. "Oh, Alice, thank you," I choked out.

She had picked out a high waist black skirt that stopped right under my chest, and a midnight blue silk button down shirt with cap sleeves. Sleek patent leather pumps accented the ensemble.

She clapped her hands, smiling and bouncing at the same time. "Oh, Edward's going to fall out of his chair when he sees you in this!"

For the first time in years, I pictured Edward grinning like an idiot, getting up out of his wheelchair, and walking over to me. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

"Bella, honey, don't cry, please. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No, Alice, it's alright. It wasn't your fault. Let's go home."

**********************

My stomach began to turn in knots as we pulled into the driveway of mine and Edward's house. I was hoping he was alright, and that he wouldn't fall out of his chair, as Alice had earlier predicted. That would not be good.

We walked up the sidewalk to the house, Alice babbling on about some new Chanel dress that was coming out next season. I slid the key in the door and opened it just a crack. It was awfully dark. "Edward? Jasper?" I called out, anxious to see what they had been up to since I had left.

Jasper came around the corner, startling me. I let out a small gasp. "Oh, Jasper, you scared me!" I said, clutching my hand over my chest.

He smiled. "Sorry, Bells. I didn't want to make a lot of noise. Edward fell asleep."

I nodded, understanding then why he had snuck up on me. He ran his hand behind his neck, rubbing it softly. At that point, Alice came in, smiling at Jasper. "Jazz!"

He smiled sheepishly at her and kissed her softly. "Hello, dear."

Not wanting to interrupt their private moment and desperately wanting to see Edward, I made my way towards the living room. I slipped off my heels, not wanting to make a clicking noise against the hardwood floors. I flicked on the light switch and screamed when I saw the scene in front of me.

I could feel someone come up behind me, whispering softly. "Happy Birthday, Bella."

*******************

**A/N: Hey guys! I figure by the time you've read a second chapter, it'd be okay for me to write you a little note. Sorry for another cliff-hanger, but they just seem to write themselves in! In case you haven't noticed, this story is entirely in Bella's point of view, and will be for the rest of it. I hope you're getting into it! I promise it's going to get more interesting as it goes on, even though its not going to be a super-long story (this is my first one, I have to work my way up!). I'm not going to beg for reviews or hold out until I reach a certain number, but just keep in mind that if you don't tell me what is or isn't working, I can't make it better for you. : ) Happy reading, twilighters!**


	3. Bella's Birthday Present

**A/N: *cues the Elvis-mood music: dun dun dunnn* thank you, thank you verrry much. Your reviews really put a smile on my face, and it makes me excited to see your reaction to this chapter! Some of you had some great theories (Erik's Dark Angel, dreamngo4it9). Were you right? You won't find out unless you read on!!**

**Disclaimer: Although I asked Santa to give me the rights to Twilight for Christmas, I don't think I was a good enough girl, because I didin't get it. But I know for a fact he is giving me Twilight merchandise. I guess that's okay. *sigh* so, yeah, Steph still owns it, not me.**

[Chapter Three]

"Surprise!" came the shouts of the familiar voices I had loved and missed so much.

I fought back tears as I felt a warm hand take mine. I looked and saw Alice next to me, a huge grin on her face.

Across the room, standing in a group in front of me, stood my dad, Charlie, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, all smiling. I couldn't believe they were all here in my house! I looked in front of Carlisle and saw Edward in his chair, Carlisle's hand resting proudly on his son's shoulder. Edward was staring at me, his mouth slightly hung open.

Emmett was the first to run up to me, of course, pulling me in for one of his infamous bear hugs. "Happy Birthday, Bells!" His body shook mine with his laughter.

"Not so tight, Emmett, you'll wrinkle her top." I knew that voice anywhere, and smiled as Emmett released me and Rosalie immediately threw her arms around me. "You look so hot, Bella. Edward doesn't even know what to do with himself!" she whispered in my ear, a small chuckle following her words.

Next was my dad. He smiled. "Bella, you look great. Happy Birthday, honey."

I smiled, the shock still on my face. "Thanks, Dad."

Esme then threw her arms around me. "Bella, dear, we've missed you so much."

Carlisle gave me a heartwarming smile and a hug as well. "It's so good to see you again."

"It's not even Christmas yet!" Emmett boomed. I heard a smack which I could only assume came from Rosalie, followed by a small "ouch" which I assumed came from Emmett.

The one person I wanted to hear from the most still had yet to speak. I saw Emmett give Edward's chair a nudge, sending him slightly forward, bringing him out of his trance. He wheeled over to me, taking my hands gently in his and kissing the tops. "Bella, you look…breathtaking."

"Thank you," I said breathlessly, looking him over. He, too, had dressed up for the occasion, wearing a slate grey button down shirt and black dress pants and dress shoes. "You don't look so bad yourself."

I looked back over at the rest of our family. "How did you—what happened? I mean…" I couldn't form a coherent sentence, still in shock.

"What? You didn't think we'd let Alice and Jasper have all the fun on your birthday, did you, Bells? I couldn't leave Edward with Mr. Civil War all day!" Emmett looked mighty proud of himself.

Esme shook her head. "You'll have to forgive him, I'm pretty sure he was attacked by a bear when he was a baby." We all laughed at that.

"I invited them for dinner, Bella, I hope that's okay. I know you said you wanted to have dinner at my parent's house, and this isn't exactly it…" he trailed off, nervous I would be disappointed.

"Oh, Edward, this is perfect! I don't even care if we have dinner here!" I gushed at him.

"Well, dear, that wasn't the plan," Esme started.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward. "Then what is the plan?"

I saw Edward take a deep breath. I knew he was giving me a lot by even letting his family come over. "Well, Bella, we're going out."

**************************

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Wait, had I heard that right?

"O-o-out?" I stammered.

Carlisle nodded, confirming. "That's right. We've got reservations at 6. So we better get moving."

I looked at Edward. "You're okay with this?"

He nodded. "You deserve this. It's the least I can do for all you've done for me."

"Oh, Edward, thank you!" I said as I threw myself down to hug him. His arms wrapped around me warmly, giving me a glimpse at the old Edward we all used to know.

************************

Carlisle had made reservations at a small Italian place, which was quite alright by me. The less crowded it was, the more comfortable I was sure that Edward would be. Emmett insisted on riding with Edward and me, and Rosalie joined us, too. Alice and Jasper rode with Carlisle and Esme. Of course, Emmett hadn't changed, and would always be Emmett.

"So, who's excited to take Edward out on the town tonight to show off his new ride?" He joked, trying to relieve the awkward silence. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, waiting for something like that to come out of his mouth.

Rosalie swatted him on the shoulder. "Emmett, really? You are lucky I already married you, because if I hadn't, I might be having second thoughts right about now. Stop being so ridiculous."

Edward chuckled softly. "It's nice to know some things haven't changed. It's fine, Rose. I kind of missed Emmett's silly comments."

Emmett puffed up his chest. "See, Rose? Edward likes it."

I looked in the rearview mirror in time to see her roll her eyes. "Edward, don't encourage him. Dinner's going to be a long event if you do."

I smiled warmly at Rose, who caught me staring and returned the smile. "Oh, Bella, you should have seen your face when you walked into the living room! It was priceless! You were so surprised!"

"Well, I really wasn't expecting anything. When Alice was dressing me up, I thought she just missed her Barbie. But I should have known she had other motives." I looked over at Edward and smiled.

"No, it wasn't her that had other plans, it was me," he announced triumphantly. "And it was worth spending all afternoon with Emmett just to see the smile on your face."

Emmett made a gagging noise, to which Rose slapped him on the back of the head and told him to "knock it off."

We pulled up to the restaurant, and it was a good thing Emmett rode with us, because he helped Edward out of the car and back into his chair. The others were already waiting at our table, and we settled in around them. The waiter brought around water and champagne, and Charlie lifted his glass. "To Bella, Happy Birthday, sweetheart. We're so glad that we could spend this special day with you. A round of "to Bella!" was heard as was the clinking of glasses. A moment of silence followed as everyone sipped.

Emmett, not to be outdone by my father, lifted his glass. "To Edward, for letting us enjoy a family celebration other than Christmas." I felt Edward slightly stiffen next to me, but raised his glass, being the good sport that he was.

The rest of dinner went fine, with only a few comments from Emmett, as was to be expected. But at least he made it more entertaining that way.

After coming back to the house, everyone showered me with presents. Charlie gave me a cookbook and some new cookware he knew I had been eyeing. Carlisle and Esme gave me a gift card for a local bookstore. Alice and Jasper gave me gift cards to some stores in the mall and a few tops, all of which I am sure Alice picked out by herself. Emmett and Rosalie gave me a day trip to the local spa, of which Rosalie informed me she had gotten one for her, Alice, and Esme, too, so we could have a girls day.

I smiled and hugged them all. "I can't thank you enough, really," I said as tears formed in my eyes. I tried to blink them away.

"Well, what did Eddie give you?" Emmett asked.

I smiled. "He gave me all of you. It was the best present I could ask for."

I saw Esme tear up as well, smiling to hold them back. "Yes, thank you Edward. It was such a beautiful gift for all of us." I could tell she missed her son greatly.

Edward nodded, staying quiet most of the night. "Well, what Bella wants Bella gets…."

"So, what you're saying is, Bella wants you to stay in that wheelchair?" Emmett leaned forward in his chair, his hands on his knees, and began the argument I had hoped would not have come.

"Emmett," Rosalie hissed at him.

Edward raised his hand up. "No, Rose, let him speak."

Emmett leaned more towards Edward. "I mean, I can't believe Bella would want you to give up on your therapy. If you give her everything she wants, shouldn't you be over this obstacle by now?"

I could feel the anger beginning to pulsate off Edward, but he remained calm.

"Emmett, it's not a big deal," I started, hoping to diffuse the argument.

"What you fail to understand, Emmett, is that this," he gestured at himself in his chair, "is not as simple as it looks. It's not easy, and it takes time."

Emmett coughed, speaking into his hand so no one could hear. "Whatever."

"Emmett, that is enough," came Carlisle's stern voice. Emmett cowered and mumbled an apology to Edward.

"Well, I'm sure Edward and Bella are very tired. We should probably be going." There was Esme, ever the peacekeeper. _God bless you._

Everyone hugged me goodbye, wishing me more birthday wishes. Jasper and Edward talked about getting together soon as Alice kissed my cheek. Emmett lingered around looking like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Edward, brother, I'm sorry about earlier. I just," he sighed, rubbing his neck. "It's hard to see you like this when I know you could be your old self again."

Edward just nodded. "It's okay."

Emmett patted him on the shoulder. "I understand that you want to keep everyone out of all this so you don't feel sorry for yourself or whatever, but promise me you won't leave mom out. Even if you leave the rest of us out, she really misses you."

I saw Edward's eyes harden. "Thank you, Emmett."

Everyone left soon after and it was just Edward and I. I closed the front door and walked back into the living room, where he was staring out the glass door into the back yard.

"Edward, I can't thank you enough for tonight, really; I had no idea…"

He turned around and smiled at me. "Bella, I know I've been a royal pain in the ass for a long time now. It was the least I could do for you. And for them…" he trailed off.

I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "You're a good man, Edward Cullen."

He smiled at me. "You must be exhausted, what with shopping with Alice all day and then partying with the Cullens all night. Why don't you sit down on the couch and put your feet up?"

I nodded and plopped on the couch. Edward came up next to me, placing my feet in his lap, removing my shoes and slowly rubbing my feet. I closed my eyes as a relaxing feeling came over me. But I began feeling guilty about what Emmett had said earlier in the night. "Edward, about what Emmett said earlier…"

He shook his head. "You know, for someone who says the dumbest things all the time, once in a while he really hits the nail on the head."

I stared at him. "What do you mean?"

He continued rubbing my feet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I know you'd never push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with, even if that included my rehabilitation. And I know that you love me too much to leave me by myself, even though I am quite capable of taking care of my own self. But Emmett was right: you can't possibly want me to be like this the rest of my life. I'm only half the man I was before; if I even behave like that at all."

"Edward, really, it's okay…"

"No, Bella, it's not. And you don't see that. You can sit here and tell me that it's okay if I am this way forever, but I know deep down you can't mean it—I can see it in your eyes. The delight you get when you see me actually trying in therapy. Or how your face lights up when you think I've made even a little progress. It's not fair of me to give up because it's something you want. And I always want to give you whatever you want. If you just say the word, I'll do whatever it takes, you know that."

I looked down at my hands which were resting in my lap. _Was Edward right? _Of course I always wanted him to try to be better, but not because I wanted him all back—but because I knew it would make him feel whole again. I only wanted Edward to try so that he could be happy. Okay, part of me was selfish and wanted him back, but that was only because I missed the way we used to be. I wanted the old Edward back—the one who was happy and full of life.

"Bella, please, I can't tell what you're thinking and it's frustrating me. Please, tell me what you want. Anything."

I paused for a second. "Edward, you already gave me my birthday wish, and even then some after that. I couldn't ask for anything more."

"Please, let me give you one more gift. Just tell me what you want, anything."

I took a deep breath. I was about to go in way over my head, and I wasn't sure how he would react. "Edward…" I started.

He looked at me anxiously. "Yes, Bella?"

_Here goes nothing,_ I thought. "I want you to walk again."

*******************

**A/N: Yeah, sorry if this one was a little shorter. But come on, you know I like the cliff hangers. And I promise I'll try not to leave you hanging very long. But you have to admit, the suspense is killing you :}  
After I finish this story, I'm going to write another. I met a man last night who has been in a wheelchair for 8 years now, and we had some pleasant conversation. He also did some cool maneuvers. If only Edward would lighten up and let me have some fun hehe. Well, it's 2:37pm on Christmas Eve my time, so I told you I'd post before Christmas! Consider this your present from me ******** Looking forward to hearing your theories :}**

**xoxo, LMW**


	4. The Accident

**Disclaimer: I found a Christmas present hiding in the back of my tree for me! I got excited because I thought it was the rights to Twilight—but no, it was a 'Team Edward' bracelet instead. *sighs* I still don't own it. Guess I'll hold out until my birthday.**

**A/N: I'm super happy with the reviews people are giving me and the new friends I am making on here! This Chapter goes out to Bronzehairedgirl620. I told her I would update when she did, and she did this morning! I'm going to shamelessly plug her story, 'Stop Drop and Roll' because if you don't read it then you don't appreciate good fic. 3**

**On with the chapter!**

[Chapter Four]

It had been three months since my birthday, and some things had changed. Edward and I never mentioned the conversation about him walking again, and I think that was for the better. Jasper came over more often to hang out with Edward, and sometimes even Emmett, although I'm sure he still felt bad about how things went on my birthday. When Jasper would come over, Alice would keep me company, filling me in about how things were with the family and how she and Jasper were hoping to try for a baby soon. Part of me couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. Although I'd never wanted kids, I knew that now it was probably not even an option anymore.

This one particular afternoon, Alice and I were in the kitchen wrapping Christmas presents, while Jasper was helping Edward with some physical therapy. I was surprised that Edward had allowed anyone to help him, but Jasper was definitely the perfect candidate.

As Alice was tying a ribbon on a set of video games for Emmett, we heard a loud crash. I looked over to Alice. "What was that?"

We rushed into the living room to find Edward on the floor, Jasper leaning over him. "I told you this was not a good idea, Jasper! Damn!"

"Edward, I'm sorry. I thought you had a good hold on me."

"What's going on?" I asked.

Jasper turned to look at me, while Edward stared at the floor. "I swear, Bella, I thought I had him. But he slipped and…" he sighed. "He fell. I'm sorry."

I leaned down next to Edward, pulling his chin up to look at me. "Are you alright?" I asked softly.

His eyes darted away from me. "I'm fine. This is just stupid." I could tell he was angry, but not at me. "I don't want you to see me like this."

Jasper had brought the chair back over and helped Edward situate himself. Alice, the holiday elf, came in with a plate and some mugs. "Cookies and hot cocoa?"

We all laughed and sat down in the living room. Edward wheeled over next to me, and I nudged his chair with my foot and winked at him. Edward rolled his eyes as he sipped his cocoa.

"So, Bella, what do you think Santa will bring you this year?" Alice asked, striking up a friendly conversation.

"Hopefully nothing. But I won't be that lucky—so hopefully nothing very expensive. He definitely won't be bringing me any new clothes."

Alice's smile dropped. "Oh, maybe he'll surprise you. What about you Edward?"

Edward played into Alice's little game, a small smile creeping on his face. "Well, I'll probably get a lot of coal. I was a bad boy this year. I'm certain I'm on the naughty list, right underneath Emmett."

Alice squealed as we all chuckled. "At least you'll have coal to keep you warm."

He nodded and stretched, looking at his watch. "Well, it's time for my afternoon medication. I think I'll take that and then have a nap. Thanks for coming over, Jasper, Alice."

"Do you need any help?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, you stay here, Bella. I'll be fine on my own." He wheeled himself down the hall to his room and I heard the door shut softly. I sighed. I turned to Jasper.

"Is he improving?"

Jasper took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Well, some days it seems like it, but others, it's like he has no spirit to move forward. And he's so damn stubborn. He won't really let me in all the way, so I can't help him as much as I'd like to."

"I don't think he'll ever get back to being who he used to," I said wistfully.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. But at least he's letting us back in. I know that might not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to the family."

I nodded. "No, Jasper, it does mean a lot. I'm looking forward to Christmas more than ever this year. Especially since everyone was so nice to let us host it here for the third year in a row."

Alice laughed. "We didn't want to push our luck after your birthday dinner. If it makes Edward more comfortable, then we'll do it. We should go, though. I've got to finish shopping—there's only twelve days left until Christmas!"

I heard Jasper sigh and fish his keys out of his pocket. "We wouldn't want the mall to run out of everything you want," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that, Jazz?" Alice asked.

He smiled. "I said, we wouldn't want the mall to sell out of what you want. I know how much having the perfect gifts for everyone means to you, dear."

She kissed him on the cheek, then came over and hugged me. "We'll see you soon, Bella. Let us know what you want us to bring for the Christmas dinner. You know I'm good at desserts!"

I smiled. "Yes, I know, Alice. Just surprise us. Make something you know Edward will love."

I walked them out and then went back into the living room, lying on the couch. I closed my eyes, thinking back to my birthday dinner and how happy it was that we could all be together. Soon, I fell asleep, and the past came falling back at me.

[ Bella's dream of the accident that happened three years earlier ]

_Edward and I hardly fought. Usually he'd give in and apologize to whatever he had or hadn't done because he couldn't stand to see me upset. That night, we had just left his parents house, and were arguing about something so minute I couldn't even recall what it was. But it escalated into a fight._

_"Well, Edward, I don't like the way you always hover over me like I'm a porcelain doll that might break."_

_"Bella, newsflash: you might break! And I don't appreciate how you always refuse my gifts. It's not like you don't secretly enjoy them."_

_"Edward, just drop it. You're getting so worked up about nothing."_

_"This isn't about nothing, Bella! You told my parents you didn't want to have kids! How could you say that in front of them?"_

_I threw up my hands. "Oh, so THIS is what's been bothering you all night?! It's the truth! I told you that before we were married!"_

_"I thought you'd change your mind. Bella, please, be reasonable about this. A baby is a wonderful thing."_

_"Yes, a thing," I sneered. "Something else for you to be good at while I suck."_

_He sighed as he turned onto the main road. "Bella, you don't suck. I just think it'd be nice if we had a child."_

_"We do. Haven't you met Emmett Cullen?"_

_"He does not count. I don't understand—"_

_I became outraged. "You wouldn't understand! Because you're Mr. Perfect, and I'm stupid, clumsy, Bella, who can't even walk! How could I raise a child? And to condemn the poor thing to my genetics? I wouldn't dare!"_

_"Bella, you are being absurd."_

_"I am not! I do not want---"_

_It was at that moment that a car slid across the ice, hitting us from the side, the driver side, where Edward was, taking the brunt of the impact. Our car flipped three times before landing in a ditch on the side of the road. I could feel the blood pooling down my face from where I had cracked it on the dashboard. I looked over at Edward who sat hunched over the steering wheel, unresponsive._

_"Edward?" I croaked out. I reached a hand over to him but he did not respond. In a panic, I shook him. "Edward!" and still got no response. I immediately called Carlisle, who alerted the hospital and the police. He came moments later, Emmett with him._

_By this time, I was in a full out panic attack. I was screaming at Edward, crying, as Emmett pulled me from the car, setting me on the side of the road. Carlisle was feverishly working over Edward, afraid to move him from the car._

_When we got to the hospital, the doctors told us the outcome was not good. If Edward were to pull through, there was a major chance he'd be paralyzed. I recalled the scene of the EMTs pulling his body out of the car again in my mind. There was blood everywhere. I felt so sick at the thought. I remember thrashing around, trying to get to him._

[End dream]

At some point, I felt someone shaking me awake. "Bella? Bella, please, wake up."

I shook my head, opening my eyes to see Edward over me, worry across his face. "Are you alright?" I asked him.

He laughed softly at me. "I should be asking you the same thing. Bella, you were having a nightmare, screaming and throwing your arms around. Are YOU alright?"

I closed my eyes, trying to wash away the images still hiding behind my eyelids. "It was the accident."

He looked down at the ground. He knew full well that I was still haunted by that night. "Bella, I'm fine. Look at me."

I looked over at him. "You're not fine. This is my entire fault. If we hadn't been arguing you would have seen the car coming---"

"No, I would not. This is not your fault, Bella, and it never was. You have to understand that. I said some horrible things to you that night and I'm not proud of that. I should have been apologizing and paying attention rather than fighting with you."

A tear slid down my cheek. "I didn't mean it." We had never really talked much about the fight the night of the accident. Until recently, Edward and I had barely talked about anything below the surface level.

"Didn't mean what?"

"What I said to your parents, about not wanting children. Well, I guess I did then. But I've changed my mind since then. But I've ruined that just like I've ruined everything else, haven't I?"

"You didn't mean that?" I think he was truly shocked.

I shook my head.

"Why did you say that then?"

"I was scared. We had only been married for a few years, and I didn't want to rush into that. I thought I would never have to rush into anything. I knew how badly you, Carlisle, and Esme wanted us to have children, but I was so scared. You have to understand, I didn't want to become Renee."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I never meant to get so mad. I knew you had reservations, I just thought you'd wanted to get past those thoughts by then."

_Now it's not even an option,_ I thought to myself. _Way to go Bella._

He looked at me, more serious than I had seen him in a long time. "That accident was not your fault. I want you to promise me you'll stop blaming yourself."

"It was, Edward, it was! You don't get it! I'm a horrible person and you should have stayed away from me from the beginning!" I felt the tears starting to come, and I did the only thing I knew would work: I ran up the stairs, where Edward couldn't follow me. I heard a crash as I'm sure he threw the stack of books on the coffee table onto the floor in frustration.

I looked around our bedroom. I saw my journal on the desk. I sat down and opened to a blank page, writing furiously.

_Dear Diary, or Book of Stupid Crap, life sucks. I can't do anything right, so why do anything at all? I put Edward into this mess, and now he's stuck living a life he hates. What kind of wife am I? Who puts there husband through pain and agony? Maybe it would be better if I just left…_

The tears were flowing freely now, so I threw myself on my bed and cried until I fell asleep. It was the only way to numb the pain, even if it was just for a little while.

****************

**A/N: Sorry, I know this is a shorter chapter, but it sets things up for the next chapter, which is actually the last chapter. I know it seems kinda short, but I didn't want to drag it on longer then necessary. I hope you enjoyed it so far and enjoy the last chapter as well!**


	5. The Aftermath

**Disclaimer: There really isn't much I own in life—Twilight would be one of those in the 'don't own' category.**

**A/N: Ok, maybe I should explain myself. The last chapter was a little shorter than the others, but that's only because I really didn't want to take focus away from the major point of the chapter: the accident. In all actuality though, CH 4 was only 200 words less than Ch 3, and no one said anything about that one. That being said, this is the last chapter, I think. I've worked extra hard on it for you guys, so I hope it doesn't disappoint. As always, I am open for ideas and thoughts, both happy and not-so-happy.**

**Enjoy.**

[ Chapter Five ]

"Merry Christmas!" I heard from the kitchen as Alice and Jasper walked in the door.

"I'm in the kitchen!" I called, bending over to check the turkey for the millionth time that morning. Edward was still in bed, although I don't understand how he could have slept through the racket I had been making in the kitchen. Since our argument about the accident, he'd been even more distant with me, asking me to leave the house when Jasper would come over. I knew he needed a friend to help him figure things out, but in the end it hurt me worse to know he didn't want me there.

I had been working hard to deal with the guilt I felt towards the accident. Edward only wanted what was best for me, but it was difficult because that left him not focusing on what was best for him. He couldn't see it, but I could—what was best for him was to resume his intense therapies and get back to normal. But what he saw was best was getting me to overcome my guilt. I suppose a compromise of both could have been made, but that hardly happened around this house anymore.

Alice came bouncing into the kitchen, wearing a dark green holiday dress. "Oh, Alice, you look so beautiful!"

I felt unkempt, still in pajama pants and a tank top. I'd been up since 5:30 am and it was only 8, but I hadn't seen any need to get dressed up with so much cooking to do. Besides, with my luck, the turkey would have been all over me, accenting my holiday outfit in a way that would make Alice cringe for centuries.

Alice smiled. "Thanks, Bella, I'd say the same for you, but I know it's not nice to lie on Christmas." She held up a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. "I come bearing a peace offering."

I smiled, gladly taking it from her. "Ok, ok, peace." I cradled it between my hands, sipping the delicious warmth of the French vanilla.

"Is Edward still sleeping?" She asked, peering around into the living room cautiously. Although she and Edward had made up, I know she was still anxious around him on occasions, expecting another 'Edwisode' as her and I had taken to calling them.

I shrugged. "I guess so." I had told Alice about our little fight, and since then she'd stopped talking to me about her and Jasper trying for a baby. I knew she thought it would upset me but I tried to assure her that it was more than fine, but she wouldn't have any of that. Alice was too good of a friend, and even more too-good of a sister. She'd been patient through all of my breakdowns and breakthroughs over the last three years. At times, she was the only one I'd wanted to talk to, and I would sneak off to call her when I became desperate. So, she'd gone mum about wanting to be a mom, and had begun relentlessly assuring me that Edward would come around in his own time, reminding me that he brooded in his own way. I couldn't very well argue with that.

"Jasper said he's been in a good mood the last couple times they've talked. That's a good sign." Here came Optimistic Alice again. As if I didn't see that coming. But I was grateful for her positive outlook. Sometimes it was the only thing I had left to cling to.

I nodded. "So what did you bring for dessert?" I tried to peek into the bag she had brought, but she snatched it behind her back, shooing me backwards for effect.

She smiled, opening the large bag and holding up a glass cake pan proudly. "I made red velvet cake, one of Edward's favorites. It's Grandma Cullen's recipe, so it has to be good." She placed it on the side table and began arranging the poinsettia's around it to make a festive holiday display. After she did that, she moved on to the dining room table, fluffing the napkins and correctly lining up the silverware.

I leaned over the sink, peeling potatoes. "Thanks, Alice, he'll love it." Alice pulled a trash can over to her chair and began shucking ears of corn. It had become our holiday ritual. "When's everyone else coming?"

"I'm pretty sure Emmett and Rosalie will be over closer to lunch. I think they were exchanging personal gifts before they came over." She cringed, and a mental image conjured up in my head.

"Glad they do that at home first."

She nodded. "I'm sure Mom and Dad will be here soon. I know Mom wanted to help out with the cooking. Plus, she loves spending as much time as she can with Edward."

I smiled, thinking of Edward's parents. They had treated me like one of their own from the first time I met them. It made me feel good to know they loved me and accepted me. Even when Edward had pushed them away after the accident, they had remained a strong force in my life. "Charlie will be here around lunch time as well. I think he has a lady friend that he's been hiding from me, so they'll spend the morning together."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "And just how did that get past me?!"

I laughed. "I don't know, Alice. I guess you're starting to lose your touch."

We talked about the family for a little while, Alice filling me in on the latest news—Emmett and Rosalie were thinking about getting a pet rather than trying for a baby, but kept arguing over what to get—Rosalie wanted a dog and Emmett wanted a pot-bellied pig. Time started to fly, and soon Carlisle and Esme arrived. Esme looked stunning in a wine red dress, and Carlisle was wearing dress pants, a button down shirt, and a tie with Santa Claus on it.

"Merry Christmas, daughters of mine," Carlisle said, kissing our cheeks before going to join Jasper in the living room, who was completely engrossed in a new book about the Civil War that Alice had let him have early so he'd stop worrying about whether or not he was getting it for Christmas.

Esme came behind me and gave my shoulder a light squeeze. "Bella, why don't you let me finish peeling the potatoes? I'm sure your hands must be exhausted by now."

I handed her the peeler and sat down next to Alice, picking up an ear of corn, which she quickly snatched away from me. "Nope, to the shower you go! You have to start getting ready! Everyone else will be here soon and you'll still be in…those pajamas! What happened to the ones that I bought you last year? Tell me you didn't give them to Goodwill, Bella, or so help me! Shoo! Leave the cooking to us Cullen women!"

"Alice, you aren't even a Cullen anymore, and I am, in case you haven't noticed."

"Just because I don't carry the last name doesn't mean I'm still not a Cullen woman by blood. Well anyway, I meant leave the cooking to the original Cullen women. Now shoo!" She was trying awfully hard to scoot me out of the kitchen, and I was beginning to get suspicious.

Alice got a text message on her phone, flipped it open, smiled at it, and then glared back at me. "I mean it, Isabella!"

"Alice what are you plotting?" I tried to look over at her phone screen.

She stuffed the phone in the bottom of her purse so fast I almost didn't catch her. "Nothing! Now go! It's going to take _at least_ half an hour to do your hair and I want it done before Charlie gets here!" She all but pushed me.

As I came into the living room, I saw Jasper and Carlisle standing there, looking nervous, hands wrung together tightly. I was confused at what was going on.

But then I saw it.

Edward was coming down the hallway from his room. He was wearing a white button-down shirt with a midnight blue tie, and dark grey dress pants. He looked so handsome.

But that wasn't what stopped me.

Ever so slowly and patiently, Edward was walking towards me without the use of his wheelchair! He steadied himself against the wall with his hand, taking small baby steps. It almost looked like he was barely moving, but everyone saw it. I wanted to rush up to him and tell him how excited I was for him, but I knew how important this moment was, and I didn't want to take that away.

I heard Esme gasp in the background as she came out of the kitchen, a proud-mother moment for her I'm sure. Edward kept his eyes trained on me, nervousness showing in them. After a few moments I couldn't take it anymore and I rushed up to him, throwing my arms around him, tears pouring down my face.

"Oh, Edward! What are you doing?" I choked out, feeling like an idiot as soon as I asked the question.

He leaned back to look at me, his thumb attempting to wipe away some of my tears. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm coming in to see what's for breakfast!" He chuckled softly.

I shook my head. "You-you-you're walking!"

He smiled an old familiar Edward smile, one that I hadn't seen in years. "Well, I was until you stopped me."

I smiled and hugged him close again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He looked across the room at Jasper. "Jasper's been helping me practice for a while now. That's why I kept asking you to leave the house. I didn't want to ruin the surprise for you. But I only got good at it the other day. At least, without using my crutches. I just wanted to give you the one thing you've been asking for, Bella. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." His calloused hand was softly caressing my forearms, his breath fanning against my face. I felt like I was going to pass out from extreme excitement and shock.

I smiled at him. "I'm so proud of you." I leaned in, placing my head on his shoulder.

I felt him throw his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. "Merry Christmas, love."

**************

After Edward's surprise, I took a shower and Alice did my hair and makeup. She put me in a black cocktail dress, simple yet elegant, promising me that it would look great next to Edward in the family Christmas picture. I had just come back downstairs and was checking on the turkey when I heard the doorbell.

"I'll get it," I said, making my way to the door. When I opened it, Rosalie stood there smiling, while Emmett was hiding behind a pile of presents.

"Merry Christmas, Bella!" she said as she hugged me. "I love the dress," she winked.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," Emmett mumbled behind the pyramid of presents. He shuffled into the house, guided by Rosalie, where he dumped the presents down by the tree. I heard them bickering over how soft Emmett hadn't put the presents down, and chuckled, glad the family was all here. When Emmett turned around, I couldn't help but laugh. The green sweater he was wearing was decked out in Christmas lights that were actually blinking.

"What, you don't like my outfit?" He asked as he did a twirl, his hands over his head like a ballerina.

"Oh, Emmett, you always know how to brighten up a room!" Jasper said between laughs, tears streaming down his face. Carlisle was next to him, holding on to his knee to keep himself from losing complete composure.

Rosalie shook her head in embarrassment. "I begged him not to wear it, but you know how Emmett is—he insisted."

"You're darn skippy I did! When else was I going to have a chance to wear this piece of fashion art? Besides, I wanted to stand out in the family picture this year," he grinned, his whole face lighting up. The best part about Emmett was that he didn't even try to be funny, he just was.

Carlisle patted Emmett on the shoulder. "Someone's gotta keep the Christmas spirit alive, son."

"Oh, I think Edward already did that!" Alice smiled giddily, while Esme beamed proudly.

Emmett looked confused. "Huh? What'd I miss? Did Edward string lights to his chair and time them to "The Carol of the Bells?" He frowned, assuming he had been out-lighted by his brother.

Edward stood up from his wheelchair, which he had been sitting in because he was tired from his earlier show. He had a huge smile on his face as he looked over to Emmett and took a few cautious steps. I saw Rosalie's eyes begin to widen and water as she took in the sight of Edward walking.

Emmett's eyes grew as big as saucers. "Brother, you can walk!" He rushed over, squeezing Edward into a big hug. He looked back at Rosalie. "Babe, we have to get TiVo so I can tape the parades from now on—I always miss the good family stuff because of it!"

We all laughed. Emmett looked back at Edward. "Man, am I sure glad to see you up and moving again! That chair was really cramping your style!"

Edward shook his head, a gleam still in his eyes. "Thanks, Emmett. It feels good to be on the way back."

****************

As we all sat down to Christmas lunch, I couldn't help but smile big as we went around the table, saying things we were thankful for. While some where thankful for health, and for being together, I couldn't help but think about how blessed we all had really been.

"What about you, Bells? What are you thankful for?" Emmett asked.

I smiled. "Of course, I'm thankful we all can be together." Everyone smiled.

"Edward?" Jasper asked, taking a sip of his wine.

Edward looked to me, smiled, and began. "I'm very thankful to have such a supportive family. Every one of you has been there for me, even when I didn't want anyone to be." He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But I'm most thankful for you, Bella. I could have never come this far without your help and your devotion to me. You never gave up on me, even after I had given up on myself. I know these past three years haven't been easy, but I'm hoping that will change. I love you, more than you'll ever be able to understand."

Tears filled my eyes for the millionth time that day, and for the first time in what felt like years, Edward leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. The family erupted in 'awws' and applause, and I smiled at Edward.

"Edward, I love you, too."

****************

While we opened Christmas presents, Edward and Alice played the piano. Edward told Alice when to press the foot pedals, while Edward played the notes on the keys. It was choppy, but we all managed to sing out our favorite Christmas carols. Emmett was elected Santa, and he named Jasper as his 'trusty elf' who in all actuality was responsible for making sure the wrapping paper was put in a bag to go out to the trash.

I looked over at the piano and smiled. It was so good to see the old Edward coming back. I knew he still had a long road ahead of him, but this was the start of something good.

Everyone seemed to enjoy their presents, and after bagging them up and sending home leftovers, they all left, couple by couple. Carlisle and Esme were the last to leave. Esme was hugging Edward when Carlisle came up to me, hugging me softly.

"You know, Bella, you've always been the one who's saved Edward, even from himself. Esme and I can't thank you enough for being part of our family."

I smiled. "Well, Carlisle, your son is simply too charming to resist, what can I say?"

He chuckled. "Thank you for giving us our son back. We love you very much."

"I love you both, too. Thank you for being so patient with Edward while he makes his recovery. I'm hoping this will lead to more great new moments for all of us."

Esme kissed me goodbye, promising to come over with Carlisle and take down the Christmas decorations when I needed help. I ushered them out, and sighed when I shut the door behind me. I went back to the living room, where Edward was sitting on the couch, beginning to doze off. I ran my hand softly through his bronze hair. He stirred, looking up at me and smiling. He pulled me down on the couch next to him and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Did you have a good Christmas, love?" He asked while drawing circles on the back of my hand with his finger.

I smiled. "Quite possibly the best Christmas ever."

He looked up at me. "Bella, I'm sorry—"

I cut him off, placing a finger over his lips. "There will be no apologies tonight, Edward. There's nothing to be sorry for. You gave me exactly what I wanted, and I couldn't be happier."

He smiled and whispered a soft "I love you" before placing another kiss on my lips.

I returned the kiss, smiling at him. "You look tired; perhaps we should put you to bed."

"Will you help me?" he asked.

"How could I refuse such a cute face?" I mocked. I helped him up, allowing him to put some of his weight on me as we walked into his bedroom. When he turned the light on, I gasped. "Edward---"

He smiled. "Do you like it?"

There, in his room, was a brand new queen-sized bed in the place where the former twin bed used to be. The guest room now looked much smaller.

"When did you---why did you---"

He squeezed my hand. "It came the other day while you were out getting your nails done with Alice. I ordered it because I miss you and I'm tired of being alone, knowing you're upstairs at night. I miss having you next to me. I miss listening to you talk in your sleep. I even miss you pushing me so you can have more than half of the bed. I still can't climb the stairs, and I don't know how long that will be. And, I just want you near me."

Another tear betrayed me by falling down my cheek. "You really want me to stay with you?"

"Silly Bella, of course I do! You are my wife, and also the love of my life. I know I've been horrible and unwelcoming to you for quite a while now; but I was so afraid that I wasn't enough for you, so I pushed you away, hoping you'd find someone better to fill my shoes."

"Now that's silly."

He chuckled. "Yea, that's kind of what Jasper said, too. He's really helped me get my life back into perspective. But I know I never would have let him back in had it not been for you."

I smiled. "Well, let me go change and I'll meet you back down here."

He nodded, kissing my cheek. "Don't be too long. I miss you when you're away."

I all but ran up the stairs, tripping twice. Assuring Edward I was alright once I made it up the stairs, I quickly changed into some plaid pajama shorts and a red tank top. I pulled my hair back in a pony tail and my eyes wandered over to my journal. My last entry hadn't been so great. I sat down and picked up my pen.

_Dear Diary, I know it sounds stupid that I've hated you for so long, but here I am celebrating that today Edward walked on his own! It was a true Christmas miracle and gift. Things are looking up, and I can only hope the New Year will bring more recovery for him as he pushes forward._

I placed the pen down and smiled. _Yes, this was the best Christmas ever._

I shuffled downstairs to find Edward half-dressed, struggling to get his shoes and socks off. I smiled. "Here, let me help." I helped him change into blue plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I gave him his medication and some water and helped him settle into our new bed. I crawled in next to him and felt him scoot close to me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me close. I inhaled his scent and smiled. It had been too long since we had done this.

He kissed my neck softly. "Bella?"

I turned to smile at him. "Yes, Edward?"

"Merry Christmas."

I kissed him tenderly. "Yes, Merry Christmas."

We lay there quietly, just enjoying being together.

"Bella?" Edward asked again, unsure of whether or not I had fallen asleep.

"Hmm?"

"I know it's kind of early, but what's your New Year's Resolution?"

I thought for a second. "To spend more time with our family. What about you?"

He kissed my neck again, and I could feel him smiling. "Do you really want to know?"

I nodded. "Of course I do."

"Well, my New Year's resolution is to start a family of our own."

I felt my body stiffen but then relaxed. I could do this. We could do this. "You mean you want to have a baby with me?"

"Is that alright with you?" He whispered.

I nodded. "That's more than alright with me."

"Bella, that's great news!"

I felt my heart race. I knew this was a big step for us. But if Edward had taken some major steps for me, I could take one for him.

"I love you, you know," I said softly to him as I felt him begin to let himself fall asleep.

"I love you, Isabella Cullen."

I smiled. _Yes, we could do this. One step at a time_.

******

**A/N: Well, folks, there you have it. It's been fun writing this and even more fun to read the nice things that you all have said to me! I have a few thoughts in my head about a potential sequel, but I want to know what you guys think, so, let me know, okay? I'm excited about working towards a new piece, so until we meet again, thank you. **


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